Blog
I wish I was somewhere far
I dream of being a pirate
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Hiya!!
welcome to my blog space! here is where i write all sorts about my life, interests, and probably a ton of oc stuff 
on the right is where i have the longer (maybe more serious?) stuff, which im sure will be littered with weird oc ramblings because they are genuinely all i think about
well, enjoy my incoherent ramblings! hope they entertain ya!!
P.S whenevr i mention a character, an icon linking to their page will be shown!
October 7th '25
I need to get new friends bruhhh like I need to TOUGHEN UP and TALK TO PEOPLE whether i seem ANNOYING or NOT!!!!!1!!
no cos fr. im tired of feelin like everyones like, 10th choice. right STORYTIIIME
i was waiting for the bus home yesterday yeah, (which btw the bus was right there. like it was parked. the driver was just lounging about for a bit? good on him tbf) and there was another person there. thought nothing of it.
im stood there, listening to music (shoutout the beatles
) and i see my friend walking towards me! fab! it feels like i've not seen her in ages, cos i rarelyy see her round campus or anything. so i wave to her! and she lights up and i say hiiiii because im happy shes happy 2 see me!!! girl behind me starts talking abt aura loss and my friend DEAD ASS walks past me. talks abt how embarrasing it is that idk ig that my mate wasnt waving to her. but clearly she WAS. cos she walked PAST. me. HELLO????????????????? she wasnt happy 2 see me... she was happy 2 see her other mate..this friend of mine, her name is rochelle. if ur a weirdo and have read my old blog entries from my old layout (which r in the archive) u might have read one from early this yr, with my friend who was an asshole, basically, i called her 'angel'. i just re-read it and yes i did say i was gonna be a dick to her. but she's my friend, i thought we were buds, and she did apologise at some point.
but the shit piles up and its not that shes an asshole anymore its that she dgaffff. she's too busy arse kissing her many new friends and band ppl.
BUT YK WHAT! im happy for her! i am, i'm happy she's got ppl who r rll like her, that share passions and interests. but theres no need to be so...rude? so ignorant. also listen. preface. i am not the judgemental type im not a hater in any capacity.
lowkkkkk the ppl she hangs with all dress the SAME. including her. (well theres a couple who r different but whatevr) they all out here with the grey baggy jeans. a band t-shirt, a hoodie. think of ur typical mild-alt person who is into rock and metal.
u got it thats what they all look like im sorry but i yawn looking at these ppl im sorryyyyyy man but its true.and she is binning me off for a ton of ppl who dress just like her and act just like her and speak just like her and i dont really care and im glad shes got a group and a place and a people and a band but it makes me feel like shit anyway that she clearly doesnt care abt me any more. it feels like she wants to be friends but put no effort in. or like shes secretly begging in her mind that i'll leave her alone. if u want me out ur life tell me, innit.
it didnt help that once i got on the bus, which was filling up quick, i was left with no1 to talk to. i sit down, not many seats, and another friend of mine was right behind me. luckily, theres a seat right next to me. i gesture to it, my friend sits opposite, not directly, to the right. ????? why did she do that??? i ask her. she doesnt like that seat, next to me, its in the middle. ??????? she tries to tell me abt her day, i 'crash out' for a moment and do a little dramatic thing i do. i cant hear her, not properly. what did she think???? the space fills up, cant talk to her if i wanted to. rochelle sits next to me. next to her is that mate of hers she was talking to. she doesnt say hi or anything, doesnt glance my way the whole ride, not a word to me. not even when i get off the bus. no bye, no one getting off to walk with me, like what was usual not too long ago, not a month ago.
its weird.
but i had classics today, talked to the cool person next to me. theres also this other girl on the other side of me thats super nice, exchanged a couple words before, and chatted a bit today! im awkward and im messy and im embarrassing and i sigh when i remember how i've slipped up or stuttered, but talkin 2 ppl is meant 2 b like that, this is how humans are right? so i dont linger, dont think abt it too long
peaceeeeee and loooove and soz this is hella long
October 2nd '25
dunno what i was on the other day but at least some cute writing came out of it eh?finally october!
which meansss i have money now heheh cant wait to spend it all on clothes 
i spent a lot of the day yesterday doing some watercolour painting, mostly as practice, cos i wanna do some proper fairytale-esque paintings for the myths page! i want basically all of the myths to have an illustration. i think it'll be some good fun! also plenty of characters which aren't up anywhere will appear a lottt. i probably wont name characters which are up, but a few will be in some myths. u just gotta try and figure it out with symbolism and stuff
anyway i mostly mentioned the watercolour cos i wanna show off this cute little painting i did yesterday of The White Knight 
as a little boy cos i rll love itttt even though its just a small thing
he's so cuuuute right??? at Homee sitting in the snowww
yo also new song from The Last Dinner Party uhm its soo fucking good i'm gonna b singing it all weekend while i code n write it's on the home page go listennnnn if u havent yetttt
thats it really for today. i think i'll go out to some thrift shops tomoz after college since i end at midday. i'll probs get some rose milk tea too since theres a 40% off deal rn
oh yea i just remembered - i FOUND this pretty ring like a week ago thats soooo Naomi 
and its actually one of my favs now. people drop a lot of stuff on campus. also im not a bad person 4 this dont come at me but alsooo what do u expect from me innit. anyway look at this butterfly ring!!
september 30th '25
today has been very good but for some reason everything feels very heavy. i'll start with why its been good and maybe i go a bit weird after.my dad dropped me off at college today, and it was nice because it was different and the morning was very pretty. my lessons were whatevr (talked to that person in classics again yayy) and i was let out of my english 30 mins early so that was cool. i ran into my friend and chatted with her until the next lesson. she finished early today, like i do, and apparently one of my other friends did too and we were gonna go to town but she didnt answer my calls sooo whatevs
i went with the friend i ran into, and one of her other friends who was actually rll nice and im so getting her insta next time i see her. we hung around town, went to an awesome hidden little bakery, and on the way back my friend told me abt a crush she has while we sat in the bus. it was all very nice and i was very happy and had a very good time! i used my new camcorder that got delivered last friday (nd i stickerbombed it yesterday hehe) and i felt great. i loved todaybut now im at home and have been for a while and my chest is aching and i dont know if its a great big emptiness or a deep heaviness but also it doesnt rll matter. i dont know what isss uppppp ughhh. maybe i need to dance about and sing rll loud for a bit. hm. i think i need friends who are like me. ? to talk to people about Homesick maybe. maybe for some1 to see how the characters r reflections of me in very dramatic ways.
who gaf man. peace n love
september 25th '25
hello hello!!!today was weirdly very good! even though i had 3 hours of english language with my evil teacher i feel bloody great. been a bit of a social butterfly!!
talked to a few different people and had some nice convos!! which is really reassuring actually. just yesterday i think or maybe the day before i was thinking about how i have days where i just dont have a proper conversation with someone. how it feels like my friends are drifting and i'll get to the afternoon and my voice will still stick to my throat because i havent really spoken to anyone, or not in any depth. But i dont feel lonely!! maybe this is a marker for a future that is to come...
ok lemme start! i had a great conversation about the Aeneid in classics class today with the person who sits next to me who is, btw, super cool. i always saw them around and they have dripppp (they're also in my english :p) and they r super easy to talk to
since the start of this yr we've been speakin in class cos we've been sat next to eachother. anyway we had a sick convo abt Dido n Aeneas and how the whole Dido things wasn't her fault, and it was all the gods and also the gods r evil as shit and fate is stupid and blahhhh blah.
actually gave me loads of inspo for a couple of my freaks hehehehehahahaha.
THEN at lunch i was sat writing (by myself obvs) and munching on my food. the canteen gets superr crowded so there were people sat next to me and opposite me.
OPPOSITE ME sat 2 girls from the yr below and i hate to admit but my initial thought of one of them was that she had a loud, grating voice...uhm she then spoke to me! i think her voice is dead cute actually. and i love when shit like that annoys me cos i respect it n then it stops annoying me
She was superrr sweet!!
complimented my phone case (which is my sweet piano 
) and i showed her one of my many phone charms (of my sweet piano 
) and she asked what i was writinggg and complimented my watchh and said i was vibess and giving y2k and that i was inspiringgg and asked abt my art n i showed her a painting i diddd and i complimented herrr and her friendddd and her name was super cute but i forgottt cos im bad with namesss and she asked for my instaaaa n it was super nice!!!
had a couple convos, and one with my close friend on the bus and THEN.
i got off the bus. as i was walking home, at a bus stop infront of me a guy starts walking toward me that i recognise.....but he is hella old now...
...My old friend!!
Leo!!! from, like, a mil yrs ago!! like yr 9/10!! from when i was in a crazyyyy massivee group!!! it was freaking crazy.he was waiting with his 2 mates and he is fucking talll bruh and has a BEARD thing its so weirddd but he remembered me!!
it was great seeing n chatting to him again!! he's still nice like he was but way too tall. he's younger than me too by like a yr like PMOOOO i should've worn my boots 
woah. a lot of writing. but i do want to start writing longer stuff so idgaf
life is great...played the silent salt crk update yesterday...all this fun today....going to see the crane wives perform tomorrow...loneliness isn't fated and fate isnt real....life is what u make it 
september 14th '25
hey gang whadduppok i've been pretty busy with college stuff and havent been able to really write about some stuff i've been doin but i finally have a nice little moment
ALRIGHT!! firsttt hope we rocking with the new homepagee!! i freaking love it. im also prob gonna redo the Homesick page because its boring and underwhelming :p anyway i made (half of) Red's
mask and im sooo happy with it aghhh i also designed a pirate flag for his crew which i think is pretty damn cool (shit pic tho oops) 
im so happy with both of them heheheh. i think im gonna draw a cool digital version of the flag and put it...somewhere around the site.
also hey. life is pretty crazy right now. i had a bit of a moment about it yesterday and i realised how much i've been affected by it. it feels like everything is spiralling way out of control like, everyone is right wing now?? but i know most of these regular people are just victims of propaganda. it doesnt make it any less scary tho. yesterday in london there was a great big protest of around 110,000 people (with 5,000 counter protesters lets go) organised by Mr. racist aka tommy robinson, called 'unite the kingdom'. kinda freaked me out. all those people,
with union jacks and england flags who hate immigrants and brown people because they've been led to believe that they are the reason this country's gone to shit and dont realise its the government and big companies who wont pay u right and squeeze every penny out of every person and i could go onnn. but i was reading the guardian and saw this bit of writing and it gave me great hope :-) also i love daft punk hell yeah.
August 22nd '25
holidays are almost over and im dreading it a little bit. mostly because i have tons of work to do still errrr but whateveri've been really into radio recently. not like i know anythng abt it, but pirate radio is dead interesting. im gonna try and see if theres any in my area, but i kinda doubt it? ik theres tons of pirate stations in London but no clue abt the rest of the place. i think it would be dead sick to have a pirate station. playing cool music, chatting abt things, doing bits of news that maybe the bloody bbc doesnt talk abt cos they're pussies. all good fun.
i was watching a vid abt pirate radio and it mentioned this online palestinian station that im listening to rn. go take a gander if u like --> radioalhara.net
oh also made a new persona. my old one was stitched together cos i didnt feel like a complete person, but i feel more solid now! im not lots of different bits, but i shift. :-)
August 9th '25
woah over a month i did not realise that woopsanywayy i was in spain for a couple weeks and it was great! we go every yr to see family, and this year we went to seville for a few days!!! seville is SUCH a pretty city like there are tonssss of large beautiful buildings, like a palace and this one building that i thought was a palace but was actually built in 1929 for an exposition. its also where some scene from starwars was filmed which is cool.
EVERYTHING is pretty, even peoples homes!! the city planning and layout is actually unbelievable like there were so.many. alleys! imagine just tons of people walking through these skinny little alleyways lined with tons of little shops and bars and and every now and again theres a table, or a few if the alley is wide enough, infront of some tapas bar or whatever where theres a couple people sat having drinks and food and OMG I BLOODY LOVED THE PLACEEEEE!! also every building had gorgeous moroccan style intricacies. god i cant even lemme show u some pics!!!
i think i'll do a proper entry for this. i was in awe every moment i was outside
July 4th '25
fisrtly happy american day to all the americans!alsooo artfight is going well!!! i've done one attack and done one character ref (for Red) which is pretty good! hopefully i'll do another attack tommorrow
also...pls go attack me...........heres da link.....cmonnn my pretty characters are cuuute and fun to drawwww i promiseeeee
i only have a few characters up tho...im bad with refs chill on me
HOPE EVERY1 DOIN ARTFIGHT IS HAVING FUN! i sure am i luv to draw ^^ goodnight!
WAITTT OMG look at this drawing of beautiful Lazarus
i did a while ago (+ Red with the lipstick obvs)
click 2 see drawing
June 27th '25
whenever i've had a bday before i never felt different. like yk how people always ask 'hows it feel being [age]' and it feels no different. yea well for some reason i felt different this time. idk being 17 is weird, im wayy too close to legally being an adult. and its not like previous years where i felt that i didnt feel 16 or 15 or whatever, cos i do feel 17 weirdly. dunno man anyway. oh yea i can legally drive...i can drive........
yesterday was cuute. i have a watch now that my mum got me YAYY thats cool. i did go out and skate but erm i got too cocky thinking i was gonna skate to town
i'll tell you tho, falling and bleeding and interacting with this dude did something to me. i have been feeling very detached from everything i experience and especially from myself for a very very long time. but i didnt yesterday, after i fell and was hurt and had blood dripping down my leg. like i finally woke up or something. like i was wholly me. dunno man. its worn off a little now, but only a little. bit of pain keeps u lively i guess
oh yea also THE MY SWEET PIANO BUILD A BEAR CAME LOOK HOW PRETTY SHE IS AHAHSHAHSGFCUEDHF ISNT SHE CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!!!!!!!1!!!!!1!11!11!!!
June 25th '25
IM GON B TOO OLD FUCKKKKKKKKKyou'll never guess whose birthday it is tommorrow
im actually deaad lucky too cos i got the day off college tomoz
(had it off today too and was meant to do eng lang coursework but brah i cba its boring okay 
) i watched a few rollerskating (nd urban exploring) vids today that made me realise its been like over a year or something since i last went skating which is crazyyy. 
i checked my skates and luckily they still fit!anyway cos its my birthday tomoz, i was thinking abt goin into town to get some super nice pistachio coffee and maybe go some thrift places since i have bday money. OMG SPEAKING OF BDAY MONEY I BOUGHT THE NEW MY SWEET PIANO BUILD A BEAR YESTERDAY WITH MY MONEY CAN U BELIEEEEEEVEEE IT
uhh anyway what was i saying? oh yea right and i might try and rollerskate into town cos that would b cool and fun. im gonna go out and skate tomoz anyway cos its been too long, but maybe just round my neighborhood if i dont wanna go crazy. thats boring tho
June 16th '25
ok first ITS MY BDAY IN 10 DAYS YAYYYYsecondly, i have a facemask on rn and whoever says this shit is relaxing is wrong. its drippy it drips i put it on my face and its like way too close to my lips and also my eyes i have lost peripheral vision. i can hear my breathing cos the air hits against the bits of the mask. lowkeyyy dude i hate this. i never do face masks cos i just dont buy them but i got one as an early bday gift from my friend (who i sadly wont see on my bday cos shes going on holiday
) how do people like this...
...
...hm ok i take it back. finished the 20 mins and i am so relaxed right now. i feel like a newborn baby. i also look like one. all i had to do was channel
turn off the light, put some classical music on, close my eyes, and be filled with flaming self loathing. the Rose way 
genuinely though I am so calm right now. So relaxed...Goodnight gems and germs
June 10th '25
woah hey guys how cool is this huhsooo this is my new blog space!! got a little rolling blog action now cos i realised it was lowk effort to do the full page ones, which is why i wasnt doing stuff as often as i wanted to. so i have this now!! it all looks more coherent too with mostly pink and green hehe
I'll be doing some long entries soon cos lemme tell you I. have ideas. they are actually stuck up on my wall infront of me on a little My Melody post-it note so beware. theres also some Thing i wrote that i put on my spacehey that i might as well put up on here too soalright alright i'll tell ya how my day went because im sure you reallyyyy care huh
dude. i finally got some rose milk tea today after not havin it 4 ages and it was as good as always
i love Rose
milk tea........ alright also i had to get Virgils Aeneid for class today right, and i was lucky that i had the mornin off cos my eng. language was cancelled (which btw i hate english language A-level if u ever do A-levels DONT PICK ENGLISH LANGUAGE (unless ur like into linguistics) ITS HELL) so i ran around town to TWO different waterstones to find it and it was NOWHERE to be seen. i searched far and wide through these two shops, looked all over the poetry sections and STILL couldnt find the translation i needed. so i had to give in, and buy one from the college 
but its fine i didnt run around for nothing! i bought Virginia Woolf's Orlando!!!! see, i watched the movie adaptation with Tilda Swinton and its genuinely the best movie i have ever seen. top teir. defo my fav. its so
oh yea and happy pride month gays i mean guys
